FAQ!

Because of the volume of e-mail I get from this web site, and the little time I have to answer it, I've written up this FAQ. Before e-mailing me asking a question, read this FAQ and make sure the answer isn't here. If I get a question in e-mail that is in this FAQ, I will ignore it. It may take a week or more for me to respond to e-mails at times. When you do e- mail me, please put a meaningful subject on the message. Please be sure your message is in English, as it is the only language I can read fluently. If the message is very urgent, please say so in the subject. If you say it is an emergency in the subject and it is in fact, not an emergency, I will ignore your message. If your return address on your e- mail is wrong, I can't respond.

If you feel this FAQ or my e-mail responses are sarcastic, don't take it as an insult. I'm just trying to be funny, and I'm not very good at it.

Q: I have a question about scorpions or non-tarantula spiders, or some other creature...

A: Sorry, I have no experience with scorpions and my knowledge about other creepy crawlies is very limited.

Q: I'm terrified of spiders. I think there is one in my house. Can you come kill it for me?

A: Shockingly, I've been asked this question more than once, and my answer has always been (here's the real shock) no! I can't come to your house halfway across the country and catch a spider for you. Really! I understand that many people are afraid of them. It is a quite common fear, but your house probably has dozens or hundreds of spiders. They cover the globe and you won't escape them. Fortunately, almost all are harmless creatures. All have more to fear of you than you of them. Imagine a creature thousands of times your size spotting you then running off screaming in terror! Doesn't make much sense. Most people don't have the sort of weapons necessary to kill such a beast, and likewise, very few spiders have the venom to kill a person. If your fear of spiders has gotten to the point where it interefers with your everyday life, you should see a psychiatrist. They can help deal with phobias.

Q: I live in the American southwest. There are tarantulas everywhere and we are scared. Waaaa!

A: They are probably males out during mating season. There is no more to fear of them than of bird migrations.

Q: My brother's friend's uncle bought a cactus and it...

A: Actually, he did not. Tarantulas don't burst from cacti. Spiders don't hide under toilet seats in search of victims. The largest spiders in the world can't eat a person. They don't form huge colonies and giant webs to ensnare hapless people. Don't believe everything you hear or read, espescially if it's a story about "a friend of a friend" or it's been forwared to you via e-mail. Neiman Marcus didn't cheat anybody over a cookie recipe, nobody bought a hairless dog that turned out to be a rat, no virus puts your computer in an "nth-complexity binary loop" or some crap, no important information was every spread in chain-letter fashion, Microsoft is not testing anything and won't pay you any money for forwarding that on, glass is not a liquid, that document is fake, that picture is fake, duck's quacks do echo, Elvis is dead, the Moon landings were not faked, there is no Planet X and it will not cause a cataclysm on Earth, you can't make money fast, the postal service will not charge for e- mail, the sick kid has been dead for years if he even existed in the first place so don't send anything anywhere, you won't have to get an "internet license", Clorox has not added something new and dangerous to their chlorine bleach and for the last time forwarding me that e- mail will bring only my wrath not good luck.

Q: I want to get such and such tarantula, do you have any for sale?

A: The tarantulas I have for sale are listed on my For Sale page. I am not a tarantula dealer, but I do have some listed on my links page. I also strongly recommend checking out the classifieds on petbugs.com. I occasionally list spiders I have for sale there.

Q: I want to buy Tick, or one of his offspring.

A: Tick is long gone, and his offspring are all sold out. No, I won't be getting any more Avicularia versicolor spiderlings. Again, I am not a tarantula dealer, and I generally only have spiderlings for sale when I'm involved in a breeding project. I have no versicolors near maturity. Please, look at my For Sale page before asking me if I have a specific species for sale.

Q: Can you ship tarantulas overseas?

A: No, I can only ship tarantulas within the US. Sadly, I can't even ship them to Canada. I'm not sure if I can even ship them to Hawaii or Alaska. In particular I cannot ship spiders to Singapore or the UK. I most certainly cannot ship them to Australia. It is illegal for you to own non- native species there without a permit. I will not help you smuggle tarantulas or any other animal anywhere. I repeat, I will not smuggle tarantulas into Singapore. Stop asking.

Q: But your name is Phong, so therefore you must be able to send Tarantulas to Korea and Singapore!

A: Phong is just my handle that I took up many years ago in the BBS days. My name is actually Tom Schumm.

Q: I want to buy a Cobalt Blue tarantula, your picture's really pretty.

A: Thank you. I like the picture also, but you probably don't want a Cobalt Blue. They are aggressive and tricky to care for, ESPESCIALLY beginners. They are pretty, but spend all their time in their burrow and are rarely seen above ground. I haven't seen mine above ground but twice in the past year, and then only briefly. The ones they sell in pet stores are usually wild caught and stressed, often parasatized. I can't tell you how many e-mails I've gotten that go like this "I just got a Cobalt Blue from the pet store and I think it's dead!" or "I just got a Cobalt Blue from the pet store and something really gross crawled out of it and I think it's dead!" or "I just got a Cobalt Blue from the pet store and it bit me and so I stamped on it a hundred times and I think it's dead!"

Q: Aren't you afraid that your tarantulas will bite you and kill you? I don't like spiders. Icky yucky poo-poo!

A: No. Tarantulas have never killed anyone. The bite almost always harmless. Dogs and cats bite more commonly, and with more injurious (or deadly) consequences.

Q: Can you remove the Tarantula's fangs and venom so it can't get you?

A: No, it will die from an inability to eat, even if it were possible to remove them. There is no reason to do that. The tarantula doesn't want to "get you" anyway.

Q: I think my tarantula is dead!

A: A dead tarantula will have all its legs pulled in underneath like a clenched fist. If there is just one or two legs pulled underneath, it might be cleaning its feet (look to see if they're in its mouth). If your tarantula is lying on it's back, it's almost surely molting. Don't disturb it! Molting can take 30 minutes or it may take many hours. It is very fragile - don't disturb it for at least a week (small tarantulas may recover sooner, large ones may take longer). Molting is a fascinating process to watch if you've never seen it before. Pull up a chair!

Q: What species do you recommend to beginners?

A: I usually recommend a species of Avicularia (commonly known as pinktoes). Most are non-aggressive and easy to care for. In particular, I recommend Avicularia metallica. They are large, beautiful and very ill- disposed to bite. They aren't too common, but A. avicularia is almost as good and are widely available. Most other Avicularia are good also, but a couple aren't ideal (such as A. purpurea which seems to have high mortality rates in captivity for some strange reason, and A. laeta and a few others are somewhat aggressive). A. versicolor is also OK - exceptionally beautiful and usually docile, though their temperment is not quite as predictable as some of the others. For terrestrials, I recommend one of several species of Grammostola or Brachypelma (such as B. smithi, B. albopilosum, G. pulchra, G. sp. "Chaco golden stripe", etc.) I usually do not recommend G. rosea as they have unusual eating and molting habits that confuse beginners. I do not recommend any old world tarantulas to beginners. Other people will have other recommendations, but I only speak of spiders I've cared for personally. Beginners should always get captive bred animals.

Q: I like my tarantula and want to get another. What is a good second species that will be a bit more intersting and challenging.

A: If you are looking for a second species that's a bit more of a challenge, or isn't totally tame, there are LOTS of awesome species to choose from. Brachypelma boehmei is a nice colorful one, but it kicks hairs regularly. Acanthoscurria geniculata is a large, beautiful, very hardy spider with an active personality, and though they aren't particularly aggressive, they have a strong appetite and may accidentally mistake your hand for food. They are also frequent hair kickers. They are suitable even for a first spider if you're careful. C. cyaneopubescens are quite nice, but again are hair kickers. Many consider them to be docile, but I also know several people that have been bitten (always when trying to handle them). Others hold them in their hand without problems. If you want to venture into the old world, Pterinochilus isn't a bad choice. They are easily kept in a dry cage, and though they are quite aggressive and strike readily at any threat, they usually try to stay put and won't go running about. Poecilotheria are very interesting tarantulas to keep, and though most aren't TOO aggressive, they are somewhat unpredictable and extreemly fast. They must have an escape-proof cage and care must be taken during watering and feeding that they don't run out and go behind something heavy. Their bite is also more potent than most tarantulas, so be wary. They are large, beautiful and interesting, so they're worth the extra caution.

Q: I was at the pet store and bought a giant mouse-eating wolly tarantula, or a red-tree crab-spider or a death-dealing worm-eater or some such silly name...?

A: I have no idea what that is. Give me a scientific name or at least a proper common name and I might be able to help. Don't buy tarantulas from pet stores actually, unless they know what they're doing. If they don't have a scientific name for the spider, they don't know what they're doing. Buy them from a responsible breeder or dealer. Find out what species you want and how to care for it before you buy it.

Q: How do you care for such and such tarantula? Can you give some general care information?

A: The care information I have is on this web page. Other good care sheets can be found at petbugs.com and some other web sites listed on my Links page. I also recommend getting a good tarantula book such as Schultz's Tarantula Keeper's Guide.

Q: I have a question about breeding...

A: I have not yet bred any tarantulas and sucessfully gotten any offspring so I am not qualified to answer.

Q: I have some question you can't answer or am looking for other tarantula people or a mailing list or something...

A: I recommend subscribing to the arachnids mailing list at Yahoo! groups...

Q: When are you going to update your site?! Geeze, it's like been FOOOORRREEEEEVVVEERRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A: I haven't had time or energy for updating. Sorry. It may never get updated.

Q: You must have spent lots of time and effort building the web site and I am a big fan. I really like your pictures.

A: Thank you very much for your kind words. I very much appreciate the feedback. I also very much appreciate that you gave positive feedback in a polite and curteous manner.

Q: H3Y jOO H4V3 a KuHL W3B SiTe.Gimm3 sumthin!

A: Is the web site not enough? I don't feel you've done anything for me, I don't believe I owe you anything. I'm quite sorry but, get bent.

Q: U suck. i axed u a perficktly gud quesshun end u saad i shud git a dum book or siad i shudden git a turantila or somfin else stoopid. books r 4 lozers. u are a doo-doo hed and i hate u.

I'm very sorry you feel that way. I suppose my response would be "Bite me, you degenerate, illiterate, snot-faced brat".

Q: My question isn't in your FAQ!

A: Really? Unfortunately, I can't help you at this time, please consider subscribing the mailing list mentioned above, or check out my links page.